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Well, I’m two fingers up and three sheets to the wind and woefully behind updating this site.

So?

A couple of weeks ago I went out and bought a Krups Orchestro fully automatic coffee, latte, espresso, and cappuccino maker. I must say this thing is GREAT! It grinds the beans, tamps them, wets them, then puts water through them at about 190 degrees all in under 60 seconds! I’ve been playing with it all week trying to get the hang of the perfect 20-second shot of espresso, getting the milk frothing just right for decent cappuccino and experimenting with different flavored lattes. I really got a smokin’ deal on this thing and with a couple of discount coupons, it ended up costing me about half of what I’ve seen them for on ebay. Of course it’s still way more than I ever dreamed of paying for a coffee maker! Anyway, it makes a decent cup of coffee as well. No more having to make a whole pot of coffee just because someone wants a cup. Since I got it, I found that I had a little time on my hands while everyone else is asleep so I decided to bake a cheesecake, make a pot of chicken soup, surf the net a bit, then tackle some of the chores I’ve been putting off. Mowing the lawn in the dark is way cool! I think tonight I might clean out my garage. Just got my package from Jamaica in the mail tonight! Yeah, baby, Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee! (OK, I now know I’m getting old when I get as excited about Jamaican coffee as I used to get about Jamaican… well, you get the idea.)

My brother-in-law, Mike, and his girlfriend, Zee, came to visit us for a few days. Great time had by all. Much good food and many Guinesses. He sent me 2 pounds of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and offered to marry me if my wife and I divorce. Should I accept?

A big howdy goes out to all my old buds that have been popping back into my life after too many years… you all know who you are. Just remember, we’ll all be dead too soon so let’s stay in touch.

A bunch of stuff in the news lately that definitely makes you wonder how we (the human race) have actually managed to survive this long. The D.C. snipers… funny how the media had to actually put out a disclaimer that the sniper was NOT a "Green Beret." Have the Special Forces STILL not lived this stuff down? Granted, the wife murders in Fayette-Nam, North Carolina did little to sway public opinion away from the old perceptions. I remember many years ago, when someone asked me why I joined Special Forces, I replied, "All my life, all I ever wanted to be was a former Green Beret." Let’s face it. It was brand recognition throughout the world! "…This just in: Former Green Beret kills 23, eats self. Film at eleven!"

Yet another rapper bites the dust. Grand Jam Master Baiter somebody was shot and killed. What amazes me is that rap (I refuse to call it rap music) has actually lasted this long in the mainstream. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for freedom of expression and artistic creativity, but what is truly amazing to me is that people piss and moan about the decay of our society, youth violence, gang crime, and the proliferation of sex, guns, drugs, and violence in our schools and then turn around and give these rappers Grammies for their "songs" advocating all of it!

Anyway, since my last article (The New Jane Fonda?) I’ve listened to a bunch of other Hollyweird types spouting off against the idea that we might go to war with Iraq, against President Bush, against the Republican Party, and against anyone who would dare suggest that they shut the hell up and stick to what they’re paid to do…ACT!

Frankly, I don’t give a rat’s ass WHAT Eric Roberts thinks about the Bush administration’s foreign policy. For that matter, Barbara Streisand and Alec Baldwin can kiss my ass as well. Hmmm. Alec Baldwin… wait a minute! Didn’t Alec Baldwin say that if Bush got elected he’d leave the USA? Well, we’re waiting! What’s the matter? Afraid you’ll have to live in half the house for five times the money and have your salary taxed by over 50% while enjoying a health care system that that would rival 1940’s America in it’s medical advances? Assuming of course that you can speak the language of whatever little third rate, technologically challenged country you decide to live in. Oh, and I suppose you won’t mind leaving all those American dollars behind since they’re tainted with the blood, sweat and tears of real Americans. In the meantime, though, let’s all go turn a funeral into a DNC pep rally. Go Team! Like Jesse Ventura, it made me want to throw up.

Although I think the Pats make me want to throw up even more. Here I was, psyched up for a great season with plenty of TV coverage because, after all, they ARE Superbowl champs! Chumps is more like it. But, win or lose, I’m still a fan. A disgusted fan, but a fan nonetheless.

Final rant. Once again, I am engaged in the cutthroat business of house hunting. My wife found a house the other day, I applied for a mortgage, (I liked the house but was less than thrilled about the neighborhood) qualified, then, after locking everything in, was told that I have one hour to commit to laying out another $48,000. This was an easy decision… tell your client that he can take his house and shove it up…

So, I’m spending the weekend looking at houses. Not that it’s stressful or anything, but I suspect that at the end of it all, I’ll either be the owner of a decent house or a divorced bachelor living in a two room flat.

Well, back to the bottle of GlenParker single malt scotch and Smashmouth’s "Astro Lounge."

Bon Apetit.

Mike

 

 

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Copyright © 2008 Michael D. Jacquard
Last modified: September 06, 2008