A Queer Couple of Months

A Queer Couple of Months

Man, how time flies! I was sitting here sipping my Desperados Beer (a tasty concoction of the Mexican genre, brewed and bottled in France, imported into the United States, then shipped to an Air Force base in England where I can purchase it to put in the cooler for my road trip to France) when I realized just how long it had been since my last Sandwich article.

This edition of the Sandwich is definitely not on time. But, for one I’m my own publisher, therefore no deadlines, and two, it has been a really strange and busy time over the last couple of months. Anyway, allow me to share with you some of the odd little things I’ve picked up on since I last wrote.

I think the top of the list should go to the story I saw on CNN yesterday about the “Gay Alert.” This is a little device that, when in close proximity to a person of the homosexual persuasion will emit a beeping sound much like a pager (before all the fancy selectable tone models).

I thought this to be extremely amusing and queer (pun very much intended). Amusing from the standpoint of the poor guy (or gal) whose beeper is set to that particular tone and goes off at an inopportune moment. This moment could be while trying to tactfully disengage from an obvious gay person trying to determine your sexual persuasion, or worse, while some bubba is looking for someone to beat the crap out of and is seriously questioning your manhood. As my friend Brett said, “This will do for gay bashing what the Fish-Finder did for bass fishing!” Yee-Haw!

Some of the other things that have been going on…

I have acquired a pizza oven. WOW! What a difference it makes to homemade pizza! Actually, I have amassed quite a bit of kitchen equipment over the last several months. All at ridiculously low prices as everything was government surplus. My garage, much to my wife’s dismay, looks like a restaurant kitchen.

There is a pub for sale near where I work. I really want it. My wife, ever the pragmatist, says no way. I think I could make this into a GREAT place! However, coming up with 175,000 pounds ($290,500) might prove to be difficult. Hey…any venture capitalists out there?

I’ve now been living here in England for a year! It sure doesn’t seem that long. To celebrate I acquired a nice bottle of 1967 Chateau Margaux. I actually bought three bottles at a pub in a nearby village. I drank one there, sharing with a select few whom I thought might appreciate such a wine, sold one bottle, and will share the remaining bottle with a friend sometime after my return from my business trip to Germany.

Well, I think I’ve rambled on enough so, I will end this edition of the Sandwich here.

Eat Hardy!

Mike